beloved love life relationships sex

How your over active masculine is cock-blocking your love life

I remember a few years ago (when I was deep in my masculine) a close friend told me ‘traditional role relationships last longer”, I dismissed it as outdated and sexist. Fast forward a few years, and now living in a committed, loving, conscious relationship and mother of one, I can feel some truth in this, although I replace ‘traditional roles’ with masculine and feminine energy.

Relationships thrive under polarity. Whether it be man and woman, or same sex couples, there has to be one person embodying a masculine energy and one embodying a feminine energy for them to bloom.

For heterosexual couples, typically the energy we most strongly identify with, and feel aligned in is the same as our physical gender (although not always) e.g. a woman indetifies with feminine energy as her alignment.  (Note – two people can be of the same genders and be different energies. Alternatively two people can be of the same energies and different gender!)

In my experience these are the things which can play out if you’re too often in your masculine in a relationship when you actually feel more alignment with the feminine energy.

There is no polarity.

Sexual charge is dependant on polarity (along with other things) but polarity is a key component. If you’re a woman with a. Strong masculine and you want to be in a relationship with a man, and also want him to be in his masculine then something has to shift. Either you have to drop out of your masculine so he can stay in his OR he drops out of his masculine and embodies his feminine predominately as a response to you being in your strong masculine (see point below)

You’re no longer attracted to your partner.

If you’re a woman with a strong masculine and stay in this majority of the time, it’s likely your partner is being forced into his feminine. If you want to be with a man in his Masculine you’re probably not going to be strongly attracted to a guy who is in his feminine predominantly, so this creates a wedge. This means the sexuality energy (and respect for your man) can fizzle. If you want him to be in his initiator, space holding masculine you need to surrender the reins and drop into your feminine. And there’s a real graceful power in doing that.

He may feel emasculated by you, as you take over ‘his role’.

Men need to be feel needed. It took me a long time to realise my independence and ability to do it all myself going to lead to a balanced and thriving partnership. These skills are fricken awesome, don’t get me wrong, but they need to be balanced. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to ask and need help. I used to pride myself on being able to do all the ‘man things’ e.g. moving home by myself, fixing stuff around the house.. Now I know I can still do them, if I want, but as I lean into my feminine, I choose to get help so I may redirect my efforts and intention else where, like into my feminine creations.

It’s a competition with you both in your masculine.

Men don’t want to compete with their partner – they want to be respected, made to feel loved and validated.  Lee, my life partner, used to always say to me “this isn’t a competition “ – I wasn’t conscious at all how I was ‘competing” with my own lover for the “top gig”.  We used to do things like crossfit together (hyper masculine exercise right!), now I realise that competition alongside him in that type of way doesn’t make me feel more feminine or attractive inside, and DID NOT charge up our sex life.

This doesn’t mean I’ve given up on being the best at things (cos I’m pretty awesome at some things, just saying!) – it just means it’s no longer a competition or comparison, it’s all about the shift in energy.

Dropping out of you masculine isn’t about being less so your partner can feel manly, it’s choosing how, and when, to express your healthy masculine mindfully so you give your partner space to express his more fully and frequently. 

If you’re always in that energy, you give him no space to be in his. If you want him to rise to King, then you need to drop into you sacred feminine.

When your partner is able to feel like ‘da man’ by holding the healthy masculine predominately, he will be able to rise into the role of space holder sexually, and you WILL feel that fire sexually and see your love life transform.

Give him the space to meet you, and trust that he will.

 

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