When I started yoga teaching over four years ago, I believed I had to be holier than thou – that I had to become a woman who was *always* in her heart space, and radiated joyfulness from my ass 24/7. I tried to get on the bandwagon of #lovenandlight but it never, ever felt like me.
The truth is, in the past 4 years (well 32) I’ve been angry, a lot.
I’ve yelled a lot
I’ve felt the hot, fire of frustration, passion and destruction often.
I’ve softened a lot too – embraced motherhood like I never expected and expanded my heart nurturing love.
But through this the fire never left me –
Why the fuck am I still angry I thought?!
A year ago it landed – we are not meant to be all love and light
We are meant to be real – Light and DARK. We are here, having a 3D human experience in a body, this vessel to EXPERIENCE all of this divine existence. To be whole is to accept all parts of self, in ALL facets, whether they are labelled “good” or “bad”
I finally understood, that this anger that had hung around through all my energy healers, light workers, retreats, yoga classes, that the magic was WITHIN this anger, and all those other ‘dark’ emotions I had been trying to run from, dismiss or repress.
For it was only in here, only through welcoming the ‘darkness’, and, loving this too, could I ever really get to know myself.
And this anger was my gift. It was through this anger I could finally start to see myself fully, and love all aspects.
One of the biggest lies in the spiritual community is reaching enlightenment through emotional suppression or disassociation. That is, telling people to feel content or devoid of ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ emotions to be #spiritual and #wokeAF. That some emotions are “good” and should be felt in a constant state (i.e. the image of the monk who is always peaceful).
This is not real. This is not human and this is certainly not the feminine, who is the chaotic waves of the ocean and watery depths of emotion.
I hear this too often “just be happpy” “don’t be sad because nothing lasts” “you should be high vibing 24/7 in gratitude, love and pixie dust” – and I’m here to say it’s fucking dangerous, and it’s completely disembodied. It’s another form of feminine repression and suppression, and spiritual bypassing. If a coach, healer or lightworker ever tells you they don’t feel anger, sadness, fear, then RUN away. For it is HUMAN to FEEL. It is FEMININE to DEEPLY feel.
The magic exists, in our ability to fully own each emotion, FEEL it, and let it move through and from you.
This is how the feminine weaves her magic and becomes embodied.
To all my beautiful sisters who have felt less than, like you are failing at this ‘spiritual thing’ or unworthy because you get angry, sad, yell, feel fear, uncertain, judge, whatever, and not feeling love and light 24/7, let me tell you this –
You are real.
You are raw.
You are authentic.
You are feeling.
You are sacred.
And this big, messy, feeling, depth you have
That’s where your magic lies, that’s where you truth is.
Be courageous, my love, embrace and love your dark, wild as much as your light.
Explore with me your ‘dark’ depths in WOLF an online immersion to activate and claim your inner wild and wise woman within
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